Category Archives: Motherhood
Hello everyone. So I will start off this blog post with a confession . . . I don’t want to type this post for literally the world to see, but I must remain obedient to the Holy Spirit. We don’t like to expose those things about ourselves that only God knows about for fear of how people will react or think about us. I have accepted that this is a golden opportunity to encourage and uplift others who are going through or will go through a similar situation. Okay . . . taking a big girl breath . . . slowly exhaling. About three years ago my handsome Hasani bear was diagnosed with ADHD, which stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I’ll let you take a moment to let that sink in. To be quite honest with you, I was in D.E.N.I.A.L. for the first two years and even got a second opinion. I also sought the advise of my spiritual leaders and prayed to God for wisdom and guidance.
I’ll be sharing more of my journey thus far in my You, Me and ADHD series. I am also disclosing upfront that I am definitely not an expert on this subject. For any advise or suggestions I provide should first and foremost be brought before God as you go through your journey. For parents out there who have unique children, please do not be ashamed, embarrassed or feel condemned about getting your child tested. Knowledge is power. Since God only blessed us with His Holy Word and not a book with specific instructions for our little one, we have to rely on God for strategies on how to raise our children. My advise: Do what you have to do to develop your parental game plan. God has said that His people perish for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). So take the first step and get your child tested. I’ll be praying for you and your little one. Be encouraged and be blessed. Oh and make sure to let me know if you have a prayer request.
I was introduced to poetry by my third grade teacher Mrs. Boyd. Since then I have used verse as a way to express myself and also as a way to deal with my emotions and life events that I’ve experienced. Two years ago I had a miscarriage and wrote this poem to “let out” all of the emotions that I was feeling at the time. Be blessed.
You were my unexpected miracle
The next bloom on my apple tree
Already done picked out your names
Envisioned your facial features
Staring back at me
I am in sync with my destiny
As my life unborn flowed from my womb
My heart began to break
The tears poured from the windows of my soul
Thunderstorms reflect my inner being
My instincts warned me
That something was wrong
When the doctor told me the news
I sat in disbelief
I feel numb inside
Just want to go and hide
In that secret place inside of me
Guilt is setting in
What ifs crowds my thoughts
Through this pain
I am reminded that
God has a plan
A divine purpose for my life
Even though my path is hidden from me
All things will reveal themselves
In God’s time
* Crystal Awkward 2008
Verse for the day:
Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Lesson for the day:
God will not put more on you than you can bear.
Last week was extremely trying for me, emotionally, mentally and physically. Since I have physically moved from Lo Debar, my daily commute is now over 2 hours a day to and from work. That’s over ten hours of driving a week. This is now my “temporary” daily routine: wake up at 4a and get myself and children ready. Leave house by 5:30a. Arrive in Richmond by 6:30ish. Drop off children and go to work. Leave work at exactly 4p and get children. Leave for Hampton by 5p and back at home after 6p. Then dinner, get myself and children ready for bed. Prepare our things for the next day and in bed by 8p. So, I’ve been getting less than seven hours of sleep, which is not enough especially with a 4 year old, an infant and the loooonnnggg commute. I was so tired by the end of the week that I saw bags starting to form under my eyes and I’m too young for those. I tried to take naps during my lunch break, but I couldn’t fall asleep. I was so tired and exhausted that I came to work and just cried. I wanted to call in and not go to work. I thought about quitting, but I’ve got babies and bills to pay. I was stressed out just thinking about the commute. Satan was doing a number on my mind last week and it was hard for me to concentrate.
I don’t know how I’m doing it this week, but I do know that God will not put more on me than I can bear. I tried soda with caffeine to keep me alert, but that wore off. When I felt like giving up and throwing in the towel, I prayed for God to give me strength and keep me alert during my commute. I had family and friends praying for me. I also encouraged myself. God kept my children and me in His hands last week and He has His angels protecting us from hurt, harm and danger during our daily travels.
Remember that as long as you are doing what God has called you to do and you follow His commands, He will not put more on you than you can bear. Stay in prayer and be encouraged.